The "M" Word

Hello, this is Ally Mcbeal’s desi counterpart. Some vital statistics about my mind. I am 30 summers young. I have a glorious career. Making enough to sustain myself and my ego. I have a wonderful family that has fed me on love. Love for life, for self , for the world. Of course, in the conventional sense of the word I haven’t found the "love" of my life yet. Whatever that means. And I am stalked by the "M" word. Not the Millennium, not Mtv, not Mondays…the "M" word I’m talking about is "Marriage"- that utopia that seems to be the be-all and end-all of life.

The world has devised a whole new dictionary. Open it and Marriage means "You’re Ok" , marriage means "God Loves you", it means that "you are desirable" , and such inane connotations. In case you’re single, you are in troubled waters, as you are perceived to be the cruel opposite of all these. So you’ be better grab someone from Mars to avoid being called names. Not flattering ones at all. Marriage is panacea. Or is it?

Hey, I’ve heard marriages are made in heaven. But on earth people don’t seem to understand such a simple law of the Universe. The lesser mortals treat it like a certificate of well-being. If you don’t have one there must be something wrong with you. Wherever I go, they look at me with the-hey-you-poor-thing kind of a look. But you know, my bank balance is just fine, so is my emotional bank balance. I think I am rich, wealthy, endowed with a treasure trove of friends and family – a priceless asset. So, by what standards am I poor? Must be some new equation created by "mindless" earthlings. Their sense of economics beats me!

True, I have been through amorous relationships that didn’t work their way into marriage. But hey, that doesn’t make me any less than a Mrs.so-and-so. I am enjoying every moment of my life, flirting with all the joys of singlehood while they last. I have learnt to live every moment to its fullest. I am in touch with the innermost recesses of my soul. I meditate and chant mantras in between more materialistic pursuits . To tell you the truth, I have a love affair going with the CEO of the cosmos. To me, this being is an icon of success, master-minding a thousand destinies. I feel like screaming out to the earthlings that there is after all, someone in my life . But then I better not. It would be an expression of my insecurity. And why should I lose sleep over people who mean nothing more than lard to me.

Caustic, was that? But C’mon, what do you do when they squeeze out all the elixir. With the usual dead-pan expression or a "hey-your-biological clock-is-ticking" tag deliberately hung over your shoulder. Not that I carry this baggage around. I have learnt to let go. To forgive. But my question is : "Is there anyone out there who sees the soul behind the ovaries?" Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows. And who cares.

I , me and myself - all know that life offers abundant occasions to smile. And yes, I may not have a man in my life. But I have one who created both him and her. Thank God for big Mercies. Oops, once again the "M" word!