Pomp de rigeur of Marriage

With Marriage is in the air, there is a heavy traffic towards the paraphernalia, associated with the D-day (wonder why they call it by such a grim name!) – meaning wedding halls, designer boutiques… I believe some are even on the waiting list! The endless wait is accompanied with impatience, anxiety and all the wrong emotions that should be light years away at such an important and significant occasion. So where is the real essence of this meaningful ritual that binds two bodies, two souls and two families together? 

Sometimes I feel that the real meaning of a “marriage” is hidden beneath the vulgar opulence that is most sought after, in today’s times. So are we to blame for this shameful burial? Hark back to yesteryears when marriages reeked of a sweetness  rooted in simplicity. Truly, there was a certain innocence about the most sacrosanct institution. Move over to more modern times and what do you have? An occasion that lends itself to an ostentatious  display of wealth and power and of course noise- the bigger the wedding, the higher the status . An absurd deduction, but true. 

In between all this, where is the symbolism of the ritual? It seems to be lurking in isolation and solitude. Seldom heard, seldom revered, seldom adhered to, the marriage vows fade into oblivion and all that remains is the external pomp de rigeur. That’s what nuptials are all about- sporting labels and jewels instead of love and togetherness. It’s all right to nitpick on the best for that grand day but hey, let that not dilute the spirit behind that union that comes once in a lifetime. 

That also means to respect womankind enough so as to restrict all forms- however subtle they may be of that most heinous  give-away on a wedding- dowry that seems to have stripped women not just of their dignity and pride of place in society but also of lives (keep hearing of gruesome dowry deaths even today!). The most modern style of giving dowry is to pass it off as “gifts” for the groom and his people. Isn’t the bride the most precious gift? Then why weigh her in those “cheap” currencies ? That’s a question that every woman needs to ask herself before subjugating her status to the lesser mortals among the human species. 

Of course, the men too have to strike a revolution somewhere. And they have to take up cudgels against those who propagate this-more-fatal-than-murder crime, rampant in our society. Then and only then would they have done justice to the union that is raised to lofty heights among all religions and communities. For marriage is above all a commitment to love , nurture, cherish and protect each  other. Let not that be forgotten amidst the screams of designer labels and opulent jewels that make the ceremony- but not the ritual in its truest, most pristine sense. 

Once that happens, then maybe we can celebrate, for the union would have already been blessed with perfection.