Marriage Counselors: Things They Can and Cannot Do


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Seeking advice from marriage counselors might not be the first option that a couple has in mind when their relationship is on the rocks, but it can help them have someone look into their situation, with their expertise in handling conflicts in a relationship. Sometimes, couples miss looking at the larger picture because they get too focused on fueling their arguments and the negativity they feel towards each other. Which is why, an immediate intervention is must.

While there are plenty of people who oppose marriage counseling, there are a handful of couples who are willing to try everything they can to save their relationship. It’s hard to keep up with a married life, because there are far too many things at play, like kids, properties, and even shared assets and liabilities.

Having someone assess your situation as a couple is must to see what options you can take. A marriage counseling session is not only limited to working out your marriage relationship, but it also seeks to help you improve your strengths and weakness. However, not a lot of couple knows what to expect and what not to from their therapy sessions with their marriage counselors. Setting the expectations helps people understand what to do after their sessions or after their break-up.

Don’t expect them to change you
Change is something that you have to initiate yourself. No matter how the counselor tries to open both of your eyes to the situation, if both of you are too stubborn to accept the facts, then both of you won’t be able to settle the score. Relationships are supposed to be partnerships where you invest on each other’s efforts to strengthen your bond by working hand in hand to improve each other.

Marriage counselors aren’t supposed to take sides
Their job is to let you see both sides of the situation. There are so many couples who fail to understand each other because they lack communication, or they are too hesitant to open up with each other because of pride and ego. The counselor’s job is to facilitate the exchange of thoughts and sentiments between you and your partner.

Resolving problems doesn’t happen in a snap of your fingers
It’s a long enduring process, depending on the problems that you have as a couple. There are those who have trust issues, communication issue, and financial instability. Others face issues like falling out of love from each other, or feeling like the relationship is hindering them from growing. Whatever the conflicts are, they take plenty of time to resolve. So don’t expect the counselors to fix the situation by waving their pen in the air.

You’re supposed to learn more about each other
Couple sessions lets you see each other’s wants, needs, dreams and even fear. With the problems that each of you face, it’s most likely that you don’t have the chance to talk about these things together because you only focus on the things that makes you feel mad at each other. These are the times when couples feel alienated in the relationship, instead of feeling that their partners are there to support them all the way. Hesitations, insecurity and tension weaken your relationship until it gives out.

Marriage counselors prepares you for all situation
Every couple dreams to stick with each other for their kids or for the sake of all their shared memories together, but not everyone is fortunate enough to last long. While efforts are done on both sides, some relationships are really meant to fall short. Counseling session would teach you to heal, and to give way to new beginnings.

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